Letting Go and Moving On

Have you ever suffered a loss of any kind? Lost a loved one, an opportunity, a friend, anything you valued?


I suffered some loss this year, the details of which I will not go into.

When someone dies it seems the reality is not so apparent until the burial. It is when the body is finally laid to rest that we suddenly realize our loss. It hits home so hard, we search inwards for memories we can hold onto for as long as we can.

Sometimes we hold out hope. As long as it isn’t buried we hope that the reality of its death is only a figment of our imagination.

There are some things that are dead in our lives, and to move on we need to lay it to rest. Such things as dead relationships, dead jobs, dead thoughts, dead feelings, dead ways of life! Anything that does not add any value to our lives but for which we daily expend our energy; things that leave us feeling depressed and low and keep us from attaining the height which we know we were created for.

It‘s time to bury ‘em and move on!

Don’t hold on to some sad memory from the past, let it go and live!

And before the year 2010 begins make a conscious effort to live fully! Here is how; Make a list of what matters most to your life, then spend the rest of your life going after it!

Happy New Year en avance!

Bits and Pieces

Have you ever been in need of clear-detailed-straight to the point information and yet settled for just bits and pieces? I have and it really can be upsetting. Life is that way! As T. D. Jakes would say, in throwing more light on Psalm 119:105, we sometimes expect God to give us a floodlight (something like His 5 year plan for our lives) yet He gives us a lamplight (insight for now).

Friendship is built in much the same way. Bits and pieces! The fruit of this discipline is Trust. Trust that God will take care of us like He promised because we have seen Him do it time and time again. Trust that if this friend said it, s/he will keep her/his word.

Trust is the hardest thing to repair after betrayal but there can be no relationship between two persons or party without that foundation of trust. And trust is built in bits and pieces. Impatience may get you where you want to go fast but only the one who submits to the disciplines of patience through time will be kept there. Such a person would have been equipped with all he needs to succeed while the impatient man finds himself ill-equipped. Impatience has destroyed far more reputations, relationships and dreams than any other vice known to man yet God keeps saying of those who wait on Him, 'they shall not be ashamed.'

A Scottish novelist, George Macdonald puts it this way, '' It is a greater compliment to be trusted than to be loved.''

Over the past one year I have found this to be true. It is one thing to love someone and another thing entirely to trust them. It is simply the war between your head and your heart and most people have no idea how right their heads can be. Love is nothing without acceptance and the hardest thing to accept is an untrustworthy person.

We sometimes think that the pain of waiting is not worth the effort it requires of us, if there is a quick alternative. My grandfather would say, know your regrets first before you act. In other words weigh your loss first before you lose. Insightful! You cannot be too cautious!

I am not saying that one is not allowed to take risks. As far as I am concerned risk taking is where all the adventure is in life. I hunt it! Adventures that is! But not before counting my loss, my grandfather was after all a wise man!

Here is something insightful I got from watching Brothers and Sisters:

There are no shortcuts in life or in love.
 This pain must be felt.
The alternative is much worse!
It is what makes us special!
What makes us beautiful!
What makes us worthy!
The pain of how we love.
Now that pain is accompanied by something else isn't it?
Hope!
With your pain there is hope and that is where you are.
Somewhere between agony and optimism and prayer…
So we are human.
Alive!
And that is what we have.


To add anything else to that would feel like a crime. Let’s take it in bits and pieces!

THANKFUL

As the year slowly comes to an end, we carry out a review of how the year has been. We conclude it has been a good year or a bad year. Some people are able to list out their achievements and some can’t seem to see past the disappointments and failures. For some of us it has been a mix of highs and lows.

The important thing is to keep a thankful heart. I have had my fair and honest share of lows, some were heart wrenching caused me panic attacks, I cried over some and ignored some. I have had my highs and I thought that was when I felt God the closest. Was I ever wrong! God allowed me my tears and wild accusations. And when I was quiet enough, I found He had wrapped His arms around me and all the while I was busy howling about my pain, he was whispering, “Abasiama, I love you!”

Truth is I have too much to be thankful for! As the year comes to an end, I look back with gratitude because it could have been worse had it not been God who hid me, kept me and loved me through all my flaws and headache-giving, heart breaking, sometimes destiny-destroying stupidity. I admit, sometimes it is hard to confess to being your own worst enemy. Like a child who has been warned of the destructive nature of a burning fire and yet curiosity will not permit it to keep his tiny fingers out of the fire.

The beauty of it all is knowing that when the child cries out in pain, its’ mother doesn’t say, I told you so and leaves the child alone. No, she picks up the child and soothes the pain. God does so much better than that, he restores you, and He doesn’t just take away the pain and the hurt. The way God loves is incredible. According to Kirk Franklin, he says of God, “You look past where I am and see where I will be. Though millions call your name, You still make time for me… and though my life has changed, your promises You keep.” I have always thought that, “The best thing in life is to return to a place that has not changed and find the ways in which you have altered.” That place for me is in God.

Over the past 2 weeks I have received heart breaking news from 2 dear friends. One lost his mother, whom he used to refer to as his best friend and the other lost her dad. The lady, in talking to me about how disappointed she was over losing her dad, said, as she was crying, she bemoaned the fact that my dad has been sick for years, 6 years to be exact, and is still alive and hers just died. I thought to myself, “Thank God.” I may not honestly know how to comfort these dear ones as I do not know the pain of such personal loss. I have always told God that if He took away any of my parents before I am ready, which will be after my children give me grandchildren, I think I’ll lose my mind.

So even though the year seems to have had more lows than highs, I have a long uncountable list of things to be thankful for. Below is a list of the ones that readily come to mind.

I am thankful for God, Jesus, Jesus’ name and blood that quell my fears, The Holy Spirit, God’s word that sanctifies me, ministering angels that perform His command.

I am thankful for God’s grace, his mercy, his faithfulness, his undying, unconditional love, his patience with me, his pity, his provision, his guidance, his protection, and his thoughts towards me. I thank God for who He is!

I thank God for my parents, for my siblings and my entire family. For the life He’s given us. The promotions and positive additions to the family.

I thank God for my friends and their families. For the joys, the comfort through the loss, the promotions, the babies, the marriages, and all the little joies de vivre that we tend to take for granted.
I am thankful!