Have you ever suffered a loss of any kind? Lost a loved one, an opportunity, a friend, anything you valued?
I suffered some loss this year, the details of which I will not go into.
When someone dies it seems the reality is not so apparent until the burial. It is when the body is finally laid to rest that we suddenly realize our loss. It hits home so hard, we search inwards for memories we can hold onto for as long as we can.
Sometimes we hold out hope. As long as it isn’t buried we hope that the reality of its death is only a figment of our imagination.
There are some things that are dead in our lives, and to move on we need to lay it to rest. Such things as dead relationships, dead jobs, dead thoughts, dead feelings, dead ways of life! Anything that does not add any value to our lives but for which we daily expend our energy; things that leave us feeling depressed and low and keep us from attaining the height which we know we were created for.
It‘s time to bury ‘em and move on!
Don’t hold on to some sad memory from the past, let it go and live!
And before the year 2010 begins make a conscious effort to live fully! Here is how; Make a list of what matters most to your life, then spend the rest of your life going after it!
Happy New Year en avance!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Bits and Pieces
Have you ever been in need of clear-detailed-straight to the point information and yet settled for just bits and pieces? I have and it really can be upsetting. Life is that way! As T. D. Jakes would say, in throwing more light on Psalm 119:105, we sometimes expect God to give us a floodlight (something like His 5 year plan for our lives) yet He gives us a lamplight (insight for now).
Friendship is built in much the same way. Bits and pieces! The fruit of this discipline is Trust. Trust that God will take care of us like He promised because we have seen Him do it time and time again. Trust that if this friend said it, s/he will keep her/his word.
Trust is the hardest thing to repair after betrayal but there can be no relationship between two persons or party without that foundation of trust. And trust is built in bits and pieces. Impatience may get you where you want to go fast but only the one who submits to the disciplines of patience through time will be kept there. Such a person would have been equipped with all he needs to succeed while the impatient man finds himself ill-equipped. Impatience has destroyed far more reputations, relationships and dreams than any other vice known to man yet God keeps saying of those who wait on Him, 'they shall not be ashamed.'
A Scottish novelist, George Macdonald puts it this way, '' It is a greater compliment to be trusted than to be loved.''
Over the past one year I have found this to be true. It is one thing to love someone and another thing entirely to trust them. It is simply the war between your head and your heart and most people have no idea how right their heads can be. Love is nothing without acceptance and the hardest thing to accept is an untrustworthy person.
We sometimes think that the pain of waiting is not worth the effort it requires of us, if there is a quick alternative. My grandfather would say, know your regrets first before you act. In other words weigh your loss first before you lose. Insightful! You cannot be too cautious!
I am not saying that one is not allowed to take risks. As far as I am concerned risk taking is where all the adventure is in life. I hunt it! Adventures that is! But not before counting my loss, my grandfather was after all a wise man!
Here is something insightful I got from watching Brothers and Sisters:
There are no shortcuts in life or in love.
This pain must be felt.
The alternative is much worse!
It is what makes us special!
What makes us beautiful!
What makes us worthy!
The pain of how we love.
Now that pain is accompanied by something else isn't it?
Hope!
With your pain there is hope and that is where you are.
Somewhere between agony and optimism and prayer…
So we are human.
Alive!
And that is what we have.
To add anything else to that would feel like a crime. Let’s take it in bits and pieces!
Friendship is built in much the same way. Bits and pieces! The fruit of this discipline is Trust. Trust that God will take care of us like He promised because we have seen Him do it time and time again. Trust that if this friend said it, s/he will keep her/his word.
Trust is the hardest thing to repair after betrayal but there can be no relationship between two persons or party without that foundation of trust. And trust is built in bits and pieces. Impatience may get you where you want to go fast but only the one who submits to the disciplines of patience through time will be kept there. Such a person would have been equipped with all he needs to succeed while the impatient man finds himself ill-equipped. Impatience has destroyed far more reputations, relationships and dreams than any other vice known to man yet God keeps saying of those who wait on Him, 'they shall not be ashamed.'
A Scottish novelist, George Macdonald puts it this way, '' It is a greater compliment to be trusted than to be loved.''
Over the past one year I have found this to be true. It is one thing to love someone and another thing entirely to trust them. It is simply the war between your head and your heart and most people have no idea how right their heads can be. Love is nothing without acceptance and the hardest thing to accept is an untrustworthy person.
We sometimes think that the pain of waiting is not worth the effort it requires of us, if there is a quick alternative. My grandfather would say, know your regrets first before you act. In other words weigh your loss first before you lose. Insightful! You cannot be too cautious!
I am not saying that one is not allowed to take risks. As far as I am concerned risk taking is where all the adventure is in life. I hunt it! Adventures that is! But not before counting my loss, my grandfather was after all a wise man!
Here is something insightful I got from watching Brothers and Sisters:
There are no shortcuts in life or in love.
This pain must be felt.
The alternative is much worse!
It is what makes us special!
What makes us beautiful!
What makes us worthy!
The pain of how we love.
Now that pain is accompanied by something else isn't it?
Hope!
With your pain there is hope and that is where you are.
Somewhere between agony and optimism and prayer…
So we are human.
Alive!
And that is what we have.
To add anything else to that would feel like a crime. Let’s take it in bits and pieces!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
THANKFUL
As the year slowly comes to an end, we carry out a review of how the year has been. We conclude it has been a good year or a bad year. Some people are able to list out their achievements and some can’t seem to see past the disappointments and failures. For some of us it has been a mix of highs and lows.
The important thing is to keep a thankful heart. I have had my fair and honest share of lows, some were heart wrenching caused me panic attacks, I cried over some and ignored some. I have had my highs and I thought that was when I felt God the closest. Was I ever wrong! God allowed me my tears and wild accusations. And when I was quiet enough, I found He had wrapped His arms around me and all the while I was busy howling about my pain, he was whispering, “Abasiama, I love you!”
Truth is I have too much to be thankful for! As the year comes to an end, I look back with gratitude because it could have been worse had it not been God who hid me, kept me and loved me through all my flaws and headache-giving, heart breaking, sometimes destiny-destroying stupidity. I admit, sometimes it is hard to confess to being your own worst enemy. Like a child who has been warned of the destructive nature of a burning fire and yet curiosity will not permit it to keep his tiny fingers out of the fire.
The beauty of it all is knowing that when the child cries out in pain, its’ mother doesn’t say, I told you so and leaves the child alone. No, she picks up the child and soothes the pain. God does so much better than that, he restores you, and He doesn’t just take away the pain and the hurt. The way God loves is incredible. According to Kirk Franklin, he says of God, “You look past where I am and see where I will be. Though millions call your name, You still make time for me… and though my life has changed, your promises You keep.” I have always thought that, “The best thing in life is to return to a place that has not changed and find the ways in which you have altered.” That place for me is in God.
Over the past 2 weeks I have received heart breaking news from 2 dear friends. One lost his mother, whom he used to refer to as his best friend and the other lost her dad. The lady, in talking to me about how disappointed she was over losing her dad, said, as she was crying, she bemoaned the fact that my dad has been sick for years, 6 years to be exact, and is still alive and hers just died. I thought to myself, “Thank God.” I may not honestly know how to comfort these dear ones as I do not know the pain of such personal loss. I have always told God that if He took away any of my parents before I am ready, which will be after my children give me grandchildren, I think I’ll lose my mind.
So even though the year seems to have had more lows than highs, I have a long uncountable list of things to be thankful for. Below is a list of the ones that readily come to mind.
I am thankful for God, Jesus, Jesus’ name and blood that quell my fears, The Holy Spirit, God’s word that sanctifies me, ministering angels that perform His command.
I am thankful for God’s grace, his mercy, his faithfulness, his undying, unconditional love, his patience with me, his pity, his provision, his guidance, his protection, and his thoughts towards me. I thank God for who He is!
I thank God for my parents, for my siblings and my entire family. For the life He’s given us. The promotions and positive additions to the family.
I thank God for my friends and their families. For the joys, the comfort through the loss, the promotions, the babies, the marriages, and all the little joies de vivre that we tend to take for granted.
I am thankful!
The important thing is to keep a thankful heart. I have had my fair and honest share of lows, some were heart wrenching caused me panic attacks, I cried over some and ignored some. I have had my highs and I thought that was when I felt God the closest. Was I ever wrong! God allowed me my tears and wild accusations. And when I was quiet enough, I found He had wrapped His arms around me and all the while I was busy howling about my pain, he was whispering, “Abasiama, I love you!”
Truth is I have too much to be thankful for! As the year comes to an end, I look back with gratitude because it could have been worse had it not been God who hid me, kept me and loved me through all my flaws and headache-giving, heart breaking, sometimes destiny-destroying stupidity. I admit, sometimes it is hard to confess to being your own worst enemy. Like a child who has been warned of the destructive nature of a burning fire and yet curiosity will not permit it to keep his tiny fingers out of the fire.
The beauty of it all is knowing that when the child cries out in pain, its’ mother doesn’t say, I told you so and leaves the child alone. No, she picks up the child and soothes the pain. God does so much better than that, he restores you, and He doesn’t just take away the pain and the hurt. The way God loves is incredible. According to Kirk Franklin, he says of God, “You look past where I am and see where I will be. Though millions call your name, You still make time for me… and though my life has changed, your promises You keep.” I have always thought that, “The best thing in life is to return to a place that has not changed and find the ways in which you have altered.” That place for me is in God.
Over the past 2 weeks I have received heart breaking news from 2 dear friends. One lost his mother, whom he used to refer to as his best friend and the other lost her dad. The lady, in talking to me about how disappointed she was over losing her dad, said, as she was crying, she bemoaned the fact that my dad has been sick for years, 6 years to be exact, and is still alive and hers just died. I thought to myself, “Thank God.” I may not honestly know how to comfort these dear ones as I do not know the pain of such personal loss. I have always told God that if He took away any of my parents before I am ready, which will be after my children give me grandchildren, I think I’ll lose my mind.
So even though the year seems to have had more lows than highs, I have a long uncountable list of things to be thankful for. Below is a list of the ones that readily come to mind.
I am thankful for God, Jesus, Jesus’ name and blood that quell my fears, The Holy Spirit, God’s word that sanctifies me, ministering angels that perform His command.
I am thankful for God’s grace, his mercy, his faithfulness, his undying, unconditional love, his patience with me, his pity, his provision, his guidance, his protection, and his thoughts towards me. I thank God for who He is!
I thank God for my parents, for my siblings and my entire family. For the life He’s given us. The promotions and positive additions to the family.
I thank God for my friends and their families. For the joys, the comfort through the loss, the promotions, the babies, the marriages, and all the little joies de vivre that we tend to take for granted.
I am thankful!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Identity
Who are you?
That is a question that is rarely, if ever, given proper consideration.
It seems to be such a common and easy question, one doesn't need to think before answering.
'I am John, the son of Jonah, the grandson of Johnson'. Or 'I am a businessman, a mother, a consultant'.
We find our identities in our relationships, occupations, appearance, abilities etc...
We allow other people define us, 'oh there's John, he's a drunk'!
We allow ourselves to be labeled by our past experiences, our failures, our weaknesses, our improper
self-image. It appears that we have no identity apart from our relationship with someone or something.
But all these are temporal identities and can change with time.
It seems that the only way to identify ourselves unmistakably is based on one foundation that cannot
be taken away from us. It is based on the immutable truth that to lie about it is to deceive no other person but self.
The identity that is eternal- I am a child of God.
The immutable truth- The Lord knows they that are His.
The core source therefore of our identity is our relationship with God. I refuse to define myself by my past failures or to be labeled as anything other than what I am before God- His child in Christ. Here lies true security!
Who are you?
That is a question that is rarely, if ever, given proper consideration.
It seems to be such a common and easy question, one doesn't need to think before answering.
'I am John, the son of Jonah, the grandson of Johnson'. Or 'I am a businessman, a mother, a consultant'.
We find our identities in our relationships, occupations, appearance, abilities etc...
We allow other people define us, 'oh there's John, he's a drunk'!
We allow ourselves to be labeled by our past experiences, our failures, our weaknesses, our improper
self-image. It appears that we have no identity apart from our relationship with someone or something.
But all these are temporal identities and can change with time.
It seems that the only way to identify ourselves unmistakably is based on one foundation that cannot
be taken away from us. It is based on the immutable truth that to lie about it is to deceive no other person but self.
The identity that is eternal- I am a child of God.
The immutable truth- The Lord knows they that are His.
The core source therefore of our identity is our relationship with God. I refuse to define myself by my past failures or to be labeled as anything other than what I am before God- His child in Christ. Here lies true security!
Who are you?
Making a Case for the Obama Effect on Our World (During the 2008 American Presidential Election)
Obama’s Win: An Act of God
Obama has been officially announced the 44th president of the United States of America. A lot of people attribute his victory to several things such as the hope he inspired in people, the promise of change, the upper hand he has in dealing with the dire economic challenge the world is faced with and the his confident personality.
I believe strongly that it is an act of God.
While people may look at this as a strictly political issue, I would like to trace the way that I see God’s finger in this historic event.
First, there were so many things that people pointed out to work against Obama, inexperience being one of them, but that was ruled out since the same was said of Bill Clinton. The outstanding thing that most people thought would be used to defeat Obama in this race, of course, was race.
Obama is the first black American to be voted into the office of the president of the United States of America. It has finally come full circle; a black man first arrived the shores of this great nation as slave and today he is its first black president.
Secondly, what are the chances that of all the men that have gone to America, from all continents in the world, one would produce a child there that would become its president? One to none, I believe, but an African, from Kenya did that. Slim chances!
Thirdly, that the economy so many had predicted would go bad chose to do so just before the American 44th presidential election is entirely the plan of a Master Strategist. All things were put together for Obama’s good.
If this is not an Act of God, I do not know what is!
Obama and the World
I believe that there is no country on earth where there was not one person who stayed awake to see how the presidential election in America would turn out. Obama had the popular vote in almost all countries of the world. I personally think that a McCain victory would have meant a worldwide depression, not just economically but emotionally. Every terrorist would have brought out his gun.
For me, there are 2 great things that have left the world awestruck since the close of the Old Testament and the beginning of the new. The first, of course is the birth of Jesus and the controversy it arouses and the second is Obama, the 44th president elect of the United States of America.
Obama is honestly a sigh of relief for every person alive with goodwill. President Bush may have been America’s David, terrorising the Evil Axis terrorists, but my prayer is that Obama will be America’s Solomon, with a peaceful reign, amazing and outstanding wisdom, of course without the frustratingly distracting concubines.
Yes We Can vs. I know How to Do That
What for you is the one thing that made McCain lose?
His attitude? His lack of a clear understanding of what kind of leadership America needs in today’s world? His political campaign team? Or the fact that his motive was simply just to be the number one man by all means ‘Palinable’?
I think all of the above worked against him, but this morning as I watched his concession speech as well as Obama’s sombre victory speech, it struck me that the summary of his loss and Obama’s win was as simple a thing as the difference between ‘We’ and ‘I’.
Obama’s inexperience became his greatest strength because it made him reach out to the people to work with him to bring about the change America craves. McCain’s constant praise of self as “the Maverick” and great emancipator alienated him from the people. His constant, “I know how to do that!” drove the people to decide that this democracy is theirs and they have spoken with and for Obama's “Yes we can!”
Obama Has Won: We have no excuse left
Obama’s victory leaves no human being alive with an excuse. You are your only limitation. There is no dream too wild, too far reaching or so impossible.
If you believe, you can.
Everyday I wake up from now onward, my daily creed and confession will be, ‘Yes I can!’
We can no longer play the victim’s card, the game is up and we can no longer hide behind excuses.
Life is good and I am probably walking on water and ooh it feels good to be alive in this time and age!
Obama has been officially announced the 44th president of the United States of America. A lot of people attribute his victory to several things such as the hope he inspired in people, the promise of change, the upper hand he has in dealing with the dire economic challenge the world is faced with and the his confident personality.
I believe strongly that it is an act of God.
While people may look at this as a strictly political issue, I would like to trace the way that I see God’s finger in this historic event.
First, there were so many things that people pointed out to work against Obama, inexperience being one of them, but that was ruled out since the same was said of Bill Clinton. The outstanding thing that most people thought would be used to defeat Obama in this race, of course, was race.
Obama is the first black American to be voted into the office of the president of the United States of America. It has finally come full circle; a black man first arrived the shores of this great nation as slave and today he is its first black president.
Secondly, what are the chances that of all the men that have gone to America, from all continents in the world, one would produce a child there that would become its president? One to none, I believe, but an African, from Kenya did that. Slim chances!
Thirdly, that the economy so many had predicted would go bad chose to do so just before the American 44th presidential election is entirely the plan of a Master Strategist. All things were put together for Obama’s good.
If this is not an Act of God, I do not know what is!
Obama and the World
I believe that there is no country on earth where there was not one person who stayed awake to see how the presidential election in America would turn out. Obama had the popular vote in almost all countries of the world. I personally think that a McCain victory would have meant a worldwide depression, not just economically but emotionally. Every terrorist would have brought out his gun.
For me, there are 2 great things that have left the world awestruck since the close of the Old Testament and the beginning of the new. The first, of course is the birth of Jesus and the controversy it arouses and the second is Obama, the 44th president elect of the United States of America.
Obama is honestly a sigh of relief for every person alive with goodwill. President Bush may have been America’s David, terrorising the Evil Axis terrorists, but my prayer is that Obama will be America’s Solomon, with a peaceful reign, amazing and outstanding wisdom, of course without the frustratingly distracting concubines.
Yes We Can vs. I know How to Do That
What for you is the one thing that made McCain lose?
His attitude? His lack of a clear understanding of what kind of leadership America needs in today’s world? His political campaign team? Or the fact that his motive was simply just to be the number one man by all means ‘Palinable’?
I think all of the above worked against him, but this morning as I watched his concession speech as well as Obama’s sombre victory speech, it struck me that the summary of his loss and Obama’s win was as simple a thing as the difference between ‘We’ and ‘I’.
Obama’s inexperience became his greatest strength because it made him reach out to the people to work with him to bring about the change America craves. McCain’s constant praise of self as “the Maverick” and great emancipator alienated him from the people. His constant, “I know how to do that!” drove the people to decide that this democracy is theirs and they have spoken with and for Obama's “Yes we can!”
Obama Has Won: We have no excuse left
Obama’s victory leaves no human being alive with an excuse. You are your only limitation. There is no dream too wild, too far reaching or so impossible.
If you believe, you can.
Everyday I wake up from now onward, my daily creed and confession will be, ‘Yes I can!’
We can no longer play the victim’s card, the game is up and we can no longer hide behind excuses.
Life is good and I am probably walking on water and ooh it feels good to be alive in this time and age!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Yesterday
Yesterday is gone and still it lives with me
Yesterday I made mistakes and still the consequences live on today
Yesterday holds my past, my mistakes,
My youthful trivialities.
Yesterday I left you behind
But I apologize
Yesterday, you had your purpose and I failed to see it
There would be no regrets if I had paid attention.
I have to move on but there are some things I need to take with me
Yesterday, you can keep my regrets and the pain of lost opportunities
Yesterday, you can keep the mistakes and the shame of a fallen child
Yesterday, you can keep the vain words and actions and the hurt they caused.
But I am moving on without you
I do really need to
You are past and though irretrievable
Today has replaced you.
I come, Today, with lessons learned from Yesterday
Today you are mine and I have Yesterday to thank for it
It taught me not to take you for granted
Not to waste your time or the opportunities that you offer.
Yesterday taught me
Not to miss the blessings that you bring.
And when you are gone not to mourn too long the opportunities missed
You will be Yesterday too.
Today, you were Yesterday's Tomorrow
How I worried and fretted you may never come
Here you are Today, more than what I expected
Still I look forward with anticipation to Tomorrow.
Tomorrow you hold my future
I appreciate Today for giving me you
Today taught me to prepare diligently for you
Today gives me no rest in teachings of discipline I must be exercised in.
I confess it is hard… this wait
And when I can no longer contain myself
Worrying , waiting for you to come
Today screams, ‘Patience Tomorrow is within you!'
Abasiama Ette 20/09/09
Yesterday I made mistakes and still the consequences live on today
Yesterday holds my past, my mistakes,
My youthful trivialities.
Yesterday I left you behind
But I apologize
Yesterday, you had your purpose and I failed to see it
There would be no regrets if I had paid attention.
I have to move on but there are some things I need to take with me
Yesterday, you can keep my regrets and the pain of lost opportunities
Yesterday, you can keep the mistakes and the shame of a fallen child
Yesterday, you can keep the vain words and actions and the hurt they caused.
But I am moving on without you
I do really need to
You are past and though irretrievable
Today has replaced you.
I come, Today, with lessons learned from Yesterday
Today you are mine and I have Yesterday to thank for it
It taught me not to take you for granted
Not to waste your time or the opportunities that you offer.
Yesterday taught me
Not to miss the blessings that you bring.
And when you are gone not to mourn too long the opportunities missed
You will be Yesterday too.
Today, you were Yesterday's Tomorrow
How I worried and fretted you may never come
Here you are Today, more than what I expected
Still I look forward with anticipation to Tomorrow.
Tomorrow you hold my future
I appreciate Today for giving me you
Today taught me to prepare diligently for you
Today gives me no rest in teachings of discipline I must be exercised in.
I confess it is hard… this wait
And when I can no longer contain myself
Worrying , waiting for you to come
Today screams, ‘Patience Tomorrow is within you!'
Abasiama Ette 20/09/09
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