Self Pity and the Rest of the Suffering World!

Every time I find myself complaining, I pause to think about those who have it worse.

The world is so full of suffering to complain about not having, even for a short period of time, something as grand as light, water, a little clean space and air (in special reference to Lagos) to breath seems totally wrong.

It suddenly becomes, ‘Self pity and the suffering millions in the world!’

Frustration and anger, in times like these, are feelings I beg to have. I found myself in this catch-22 or dilemma, if you please, some days back it made me totally upset. I love nothing more than peace, quiet and a clean space and stress of any kind, at such a time, irritates me. A quiet prayer to Jesus and a smile are enough antidotes.

To come home to a ‘claimed’ family member who wants to know if I truly fasted (even though she's bent on the fact that I'm lying), to my space being messed up by some space agents, to food getting bad because PHCN refuses to share electricity demands that I be frustrated. Add to that the suffocating stench of Lagos and you have a recipe for, ‘How To Go Insane. ‘

Tired and hungry, I refused Jesus and a smile.

Do you know what is worse than depression? Anger. Not just any kind - anger that is unfocused. Nothing is worse than being angry with no one in particular. So I refused all manner of reasoning, I begged God not quote scriptures and just cried my frustrations out till I found myself laughing. That's when I got it... I chose the wrong feeling.

I thought to myself, “There are people that have it worse than me.” Truth is;

Time doesn't wait for you to feel sad and depressed and then come out of it

Time doesn't wait for you to make the choice to be happy.

Time doesn't wait for you to make a decision to go on or give up.

Time keeps ticking, demanding that you keep up or fall out

Time is now and now may be all you have.

Thank God I have the gift of life, the opportunity to be of service and most importantly the grace to forgive, my anger, after all, was not without sin. I counted my blessings, wished self pity good bye, called my friends and loved ones, found Jesus and apologized, I even put in a good word for the suffering millions in the world. Need I say I slept like a baby? God had His arms wrapped around me all the same!

Abasiama! That's my swear word! It means God loves me...